


Deserving

by Emery



Series: Indigo Children [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Music, Coming Out, Fluff, Gift Giving, M/M, Marco PoV, Musicians, Roommates, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 05:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4292280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emery/pseuds/Emery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>From the <i>Reach for the Moon</i> universe.</b>
</p><p>Marco buys Jean a gift, if for no other reason than that he deserves it.</p><p>
  <i>There was something about gifts. Lately, it was becoming more and more of a struggle to not think of Jean every time I went into a store. I would find little things that reminded me of him and had to kick myself not to buy them on impulse. There was only so much I could take before I finally caved. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deserving

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Reach for the Moon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075819) by [Emery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emery/pseuds/Emery). 



> For Jeanmarco Week 2015, Day 7. The prompt was "Gifts."
> 
> Please make sure to read my fic _Reach for the Moon_! _Deserving_ is not a stand-alone piece! This scene is an extra, from Marco's POV, and can be the most appreciated if you've read at least through Chapter 5.

When I left to help Bertholdt practice that morning, Jean had still been asleep in a pile of tangled limbs and blankets, plastic earbuds in his ears and his pullover’s hood hiding his frazzled mop of hair. That wasn’t an uncommon sight as of late, and it made me smile every time. The only thing that could have made it better would have been crawling in beside him and waking him gently with a kiss.

I had to admit to myself that I had fallen _hard_ for him. It was almost embarrassing. The worst part was that I wasn’t even discreet about it, anymore—at least according to Reiner and Bert. Maybe it was because they knew me so well, had basically helped me out of the closet in high school and been the only guys I could talk about, well, _guys_ with. Still, they had done nothing but tease me about it ever since they had detected my crush. Bertholdt would shoot me a little grin every now and then, just to inform me that he did indeed know. Reiner would chuckle more, whisper bold and suggestive comments.

I considered it a miracle that the two of them hadn’t given it away to Jean yet. Then again, my roommate was one of the most shockingly oblivious people I had ever met. It wasn’t that he was stupid, but he much, _much_ preferred his own world over whatever it was that the outside world might have to offer him.

About an hour into Bertholdt’s cello practice, I called it quits and bid him adieu until dinner that night. The four of us were supposed to get together, which I was pretty excited about. Reiner kept calling it a “double date,” even though it was really nothing of the sort. Jean and I were _not_ dating. I didn’t even know if Jean was into men. He had never mentioned anything about it, no crushes on girls, no nothing. He could have been aromantic or something—I had wondered about it on more than one occasion, late at night when I laid awake listening to the distant static-y noise from below me (Jean’s music was always way too loud, and it was rare that I couldn’t hear at least some remnants of it through his inexpensive little earbuds). 

I wondered if he had ever loved anyone, if he had ever slept with anyone, if he had dated in high school or had any crushes as childlike as the one I had on him. Embarrassingly, I wanted to know what it was he thought about when he got himself off, or if he ever did that at all. I was probably less sexual than most guys, still a little bit ashamed of the idea, so the stray thoughts filling my mind with images of Jean’s hand around his cock always brought a hot flush to my cheeks.

That didn’t mean I didn’t enjoy them.

I had also been told before that I was a pretty service-oriented guy. It made sense, with the way that I brought Jean food all the time and offered to help him find local gigs. It turned out that Reiner thought all of the venues I found were crap, but at least I had given it a shot, right? 

It wasn’t just service, though. There was something about gifts. Lately, it was becoming more and more of a struggle to not think of Jean every time I went into a store. I would find little things that reminded me of him and had to kick myself not to buy them on impulse. There was only so much I could take before I finally caved. 

The student store was on my way home, and I wandered in to kill some time because I wasn’t sure if Jean would be awake yet. I was reminded of the way I had left him in bed, his iPod still in his hand, and realized that, for a guy who liked music, he sure had a crappy way to listen to it. There was probably no bass quality whatsoever in those little earbuds of his, probably not much of any quality at _all_. I had some spare money this semester, because I had somehow not managed to use all of my campus dining dollars last year. There was a rollover system, so I had something like forty or fifty bucks just sitting around on my card. 

I could get a decent pair of real headphones for that, I thought; and before I could stop myself, I was walking out with a bag in hand.

The headset was simple, sleek, sturdy—I went with matte black because I rarely saw Jean wear any other colors. I had picked up the box that contained a turquoise set before realizing that I wasn’t buying these for myself (the color had been gorgeous, though). 

All the way back to the dorm I analyzed a handful of the cutest scenarios I could imagine, because I was little more than a huge dork with a puppy dog crush who wanted to give Jean his present in the most adorable way imaginable. I checked myself, though, realizing that “cute” wasn’t really his style and that I risked embarrassing the living heck out of him if I did anything too obvious. Plus, I wasn’t sure if I really wanted him to know about my crush on him yet. He was still adjusting to college, still working out a lot of personality kinks, and I didn’t want to overwhelm him with anything else.

Okay, so I was also very, _very_ afraid of getting rejected. I hadn’t been blessed with the most positive experiences since coming out in high school. It still felt strange to admit that I was interested in pursuing a relationship with a guy. It’s not like I didn’t know without a doubt that I was into men, but the idea of ever being completely out and open scared me.

It would probably be fine, here. It wasn’t like _they_ were around anymore, and Reiner and Bert had my back just like always.

I wasn’t surprised to find Jean sitting at his desk with his back towards the door. His head was turned just enough towards me that I could see the way his eyebrows furrowed with concentration, focusing on whatever assignment was pulled up on his laptop. I really hoped that what he was working on wasn’t due that day. He had a tendency to procrastinate, and it was painful to see him all stressed out.

I had already unboxed the headphones from their packaging in the hallway, so I set the bag quietly by the door (my caution was unnecessary—as usual, I could hear Jean’s music from across the room, so he sure wasn’t going to hear me coming in). 

My hands reached carefully around his head to pluck his earbuds out. 

I couldn’t help but smirk when he jumped, startled. 

“Shhhh,” I hushed him, a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“ _Fuck_ , Marco, don’t fuckin’ just sneak up like—“

“I got something for you.”

“Huh?” His grunt was all flat frustration, pretty much the most Jean-like thing ever.

Still standing behind him, I slipped the brand new headphones over his ears and held the jack out in front of him so he could give them a try; but before he took the little metal piece between his fingers, he was turning in his chair and staring up at me with a question in his eyes.

“You’ll really like them,” I said in way of explanation. “Every music student needs a good pair of headphones. They’ll be way more comfy than those things you’ve been using.” I blinked, and after a second’s hesitation continued, “Oh, and your music will stay _your_ music this way, too.” My quiet chuckle hopefully conveyed that I wasn’t reprimanding him.

He looked like he had no idea how to respond, like someone had never given him a gift before. Surely, that couldn’t have been the case. Could it?

“Thanks,” he finally murmured even though he clearly didn’t get it. “But why?”

I shrugged. “I wanted to. You deserve them.”

There was that look again, like he really had no idea that he deserved anything at all and couldn’t comprehend what in the world I was trying to tell him.

“Don’t worry about it, okay? If you don’t like them, I can return them or—“

“I love them.”

There it was—finally, that hasty, impulsive and intense side of Jean that I had only seen a few times when his guard was down. There was emotion in that impulse, something candid and genuine that I adored. Maybe, one of these days, he would let me see that part of him more often.

He plugged my gift into his iPod and tapped the play button with his thumb, then smiled at me more fondly than I had ever seen.

That was all I needed to set my heart soaring.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Deserving by Emery](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4763606) by [TheSparksofMagic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSparksofMagic/pseuds/TheSparksofMagic)




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